


Fill in the Gaps of You and Me

by Theincrediblesulkmachine



Series: SheithAngstWeek2018 [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath, Allura :(, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Grief, Hurt, Keith and Lance being there for each other, M/M, Post S8, SHEITH - Freeform, Sacrifice, Sheith Angst Week 2018, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Sheith, allurance, comfort in shared grief, established Shiro and Curtis, s8, the storm before the fix its, whats his face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 06:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17038190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theincrediblesulkmachine/pseuds/Theincrediblesulkmachine
Summary: So look me in the eyes, tell me what you see; perfect paradise, tearing at the seams.





	Fill in the Gaps of You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really want to say anything, except that i'm just going to post this as part of Sheithangstweek2018, for the prompt Sacrifice.
> 
> Also, [Bad Liar-Imagine Dragons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a40XLhSUREo&list=RDa40XLhSUREo&start_radio=1) is a really great song

Keith paints an oddly lonely portrait, standing off to the side like that, hair lit aflame in the light of the setting sun. He looks unsure- arms crossed, face tight- and just that much out of place. It was so far off from what Lance has become used to seeing on his leader, his friend, that he doesn’t take more than a second to stride on over.

“Mullet, my man!” Lance waves, watching as Keith’s expression transforms momentarily from that weary worry to sharp relief, and a genuine grin.

“Lance,” he says, and damn, if it doesn’t warm something in Lance’s heart to see Keith look happy to see him, after all the weirdness that had once existed between them.

It’s been three years since they last met, so Lance doesn’t stop at the hand-clasped-bro-hug, wrapping himself around Keith like an octopus. Tight and far too familiar, but Keith goes in easily enough, and lingers; resting his head onto Lance’s shoulder.

“Nice ponytail.” Lance teases, tugging at the end of it. “You and Matt having a hair growing competition?”

Keith pulls back a little, but he’s still smiling. “Still obsessed with my hair then?”

Lance mock-pouts, but still counts it as a win. “The fact that you don’t appreciate the natural resource you have is, I’ll have you know, a travesty.”

A _travesty_ , he thinks, seeing how Keith opens his mouth to retort, grin growing sharper before it falters and falls entirely, upon catching sight of Shiro.

Shiro hasn’t noticed them, shrouded in bliss and last-minute management as he is. His plus one- soon to be husband- who Lance still doesn’t know the name of- is somewhere there too; matching tux and tie, and all.

It is said husband that sees them first, walking over to Lance and Keith, surprise on his face.

“Keith!” He says, face pleasant but bland, “We didn’t think you’d make it!”

Make it? Lance is a little caught off guard; how could this newbie even think that Keith _wouldn’t_ be there at Shiro’s wedding?

To his shock, as he glances at Keith, opening his mouth to voice this very thought, the blank faced politeness on the once Black Paladin’s face make the words die in his throat.

“I wasn’t sure I would.” Keith says, polite and charming, eloquent as he had become over the many _many_ fiascos of the Coalition recruitment drives. “Everything looks lovely.” A vague hand gesture spanning the event’s décor. “My congratulations, Curtis.”

Its only knowing Keith, knowing his mind and how he words things when they’re important to him that Lance picks up on how wrong it sounds.

How the lie that is not a lie, curdles at his lips; the man who is hardwired into honesty.

“Thank you.” Curtis- _apparently_ \- says not noticing, blushing a little in what could only be merriment unless he was drunk at his own wedding.

Lance squints at him just to be sure.

He just seems happy, and admittedly while Lance can’t remember Shiro ever having mentioned him, Lance was hardly the one Shiro went to when he wanted to unburden.

Said person’s smile however is borderline cold, and there’s a tightness to Keith’s eyes that doesn’t sit right with Lance.

It all drops with the line of his shoulders the instant Curtis leaves.

Keith borderline slumps into Lance’s shoulder, and confused, Lance wraps his arm around him.

“You wanna tell me what’s up, buddy?”

“It’s noth-” Keith begins, only to drop it when Lance squeezes him, comforting but warningly.

“It’s stupid.” Keith amends, and sighs.

“You’re stupid.” Lance says before he can help himself. Luckily, Keith takes it as it is meant, and huffs in amusement.

Its short lived, and he looks so wistful, staring at Curtis going over to Shiro, whose hand is on his shoulder, bracing.

Curtis laughs, and Keith wilts.

“Oh.” Lance says softly, and squeezes Keith again for good measure.

“Yeah.” Keith says back, equally soft. “It’s stupid.”

“I don’t think so.” Lance murmurs, thinking of Allura and Lotor, and how it still twists a knife in his gut, and yet he’d give anything to have her here, even if she was to be with some one else instead.

 “You’re stupid too.” Keith says, and his voice catches at the naked emotion in that sentence.

“Oh, Keith.” Lance says, letting go to turn him, to shake him or something; any thing to get him out of this uncharacteristic unsureness.

Shiro takes that moment of silence to come up behind them, instead. “Keith, Lance! You made it!” he says, radiant with joy, smile apparent in his voice even before they see him. He claps them both hard on the shoulder, and laughs.

Lance half expects Keith to struggle now, but there’s not even a small wobble in his smile. His hand however jolts as if in an aborted movement to touch, as Keith turns to Shiro, and says with full sincerity. “I am so happy for you, Shiro.”

But of course, there wouldn’t be.

Of course, he was happy for Shiro; Keith had never done anything by halves, had he? Keith had always loved Shiro with every inch of his burning existence, had wanted nothing less than the best for him.

Shiro laughs again. and its delighted, and makes him seem years freer. “Thankyou. I’m so happy you’re here. It wouldn’t have felt right without you guys here.”

Somehow, though the words are directed at both of them, they seem to be meant for Keith alone, and Lance wonders if he should excuse himself.

Shiro faces Keith as he says softly, “I beeped Kolivan to make sure he’d let you off. I’m so glad it worked out.”

Keith smiles, “I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world.” He says, and it should be a lie for all the ways it’s clearly killing Keith to be here, but it isn’t, and Keith keeps smiling as Shiro excuses himself to greet more wedding guests, after a quick reminder to enjoy the open bar.

Shiro is smitten, and even as the outsider in the dynamic that had always been Shiro and Keith, Keith and Shiro, Lance can see the way the gears jam and sputter, the pain writ on every inch of Keith’s face.

The end of an era, perhaps.

“He’s happy.” Keith says, and nods to himself. “I’m happy for him.”

“You don’t have to be.” Lance says, before he can stop himself.

“I know.” Keith laughs a little to himself, before turning those unsteady galaxy eyes to Lance, and he’s never seen them this transparent, hurt and fondness intertwined into an all-encompassing love. “But Shiro of all people deserves a happy ending.”

 _Yeah_ , Lance wants to say, _but don’t you_? He can’t help but feel that Keith and Shiro and the entity that had been _them_ deserved better

“What about you?” Lance asks gently.

“I think I ran out of good luck.” Keith laughs again, soft. “I spent all of my wishes wanting him to be safe, and here he is.”

They watch Shiro and Curtis dance, a small elegant twirl in the middle of the dance floor. They both laugh, and touch foreheads.

On behalf of Keith, Lance closes his eyes and pretends to be nauseated.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“Me too.” Keith replies, eyes still on the happy couple. The _but, not really,_ goes unsaid yet still clear as if he had screamed them. “He’s safe.” He repeats, as if its all that truly matters.

“Were you really not going to attend?” Lance asks instead.

Keith swallows, looking down. “It occurred to me to be selfish, yes.”

 _Selfish,_ Keith said, as if he could ever have put himself before Shiro. His entire future had been shaped around Shiro, and the light he exuded; to protect, to nourish, to save and serve.

Keith and selfishness didn’t exist in the same realm; not when pitted against Shiro.

“How come?” Lance asks, because he’s curious.

Keith doesn’t reply, because Keith can never badmouth Shiro or his choices. Instead, Lance feels _the disbelief, the surprise, the hurt_ in the afterimage of the bond that still somewhat lingers between the paladins.

Keith had never thought Shiro would throw away his aspirations, his dream to explore space for a man he had never even mentioned in passing. Not to Keith, not to anyone.

Keith had never believed he’d see the day Shiro would willingly let go of how long he had fought to be where he was, who he was.

Keith felt like it was giving up, settling, and while he won’t begrudge Shiro anything; he’s hurt and disappointed, and maybe a little wistful that it wasn’t, and wouldn’t ever be Keith. He’s not surprised though, just resigned. Just a little heartbroken maybe.

Yet here Keith is, still smiling as the man he loves marries someone else.

“Keith.” Lance begins, the ache in his heart audible in his voice. He doesn’t know what to say.

Keith stiffens a little but doesn’t look at him, or away from Shiro. His eyes gleam, a little wet, but the small sad smile remains steady. “If I could do it all over again,” he whispers, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I know.” Lance murmurs, and thinks as always of Allura. “I would change everything if it meant she could stand here now.”

“I know.” Keith says back, and they stand there, shoulders brushing as they share their sorrows, and breathe in their shared grief.

Happiness permeates the air around them, weaving in and around everything, somehow just missing them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up at tumblr [@theincrediblesulkmachine](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/theincrediblesulkmachine) if you want.
> 
> [[I didn't hate most of season 8, if i'm going to be honest. I loved a great big chunk, especially the starting and some of the storyline, the Lotor reveals... I just found it horribly odd that so many interactions were lacking, not restricted to how Shiro and Keith stood like strangers, (it doesnt even have to be romantic to be pure) and thought the resolution(s) and the epilogue was terrible writing, and we're still left with so many unanswered questions and EVERYONE kind of deserved better. 
> 
> (dont ask me about allura, i'll cry. i couldnt even write about her in this without wanting to scream)
> 
> (although i do adore the Blades as a war relief group.)
> 
> Do i still love the world VLD created? yes. Do i still love the characters? Definitely. Will i be writing fix-its later? Probably.
> 
> Just gonna focus my broken heart to Beat me Black and Blue, now.]]


End file.
